Dreams

By: Sano

Disclaimer: These boys belong to Kazuya Minekura. I am not making any money out of this so please don’t sue me, I’m only making this fic to provide non-profit entertainment for yaoi lovers out there who hunger for more yaoi fics.

Warnings: Yaoi, and maybe some Sanzo OOCness

Pairings: SanzoxHakkai

Note: Gomenasai for the late update! I’ve been so busy with this Harry Potter fic that I’m co-writing with my sister and school that I haven’t wrote an anime fic for days! This story is the continuation of ‘A Game of Poker and Cups of Sake’. Hope you guys like it!

 

*^^*

 

“Do you want to get married someday, Koryu?” Komyo Sanzo asked his disciple, his face beholding a good-natured smile.

 

Koryu stopped in his sweeping and turned to face his master. “Why do you ask that, Sanzo-sama?” He questioned. A breeze stirred his blonde hair and he brushed them away irritably.

 

Komyo Sanzo chuckled. “Nothing. I just wanted to ask. So, are you?” A small bird settled on his shoulder and he petted its head, and the small bird chirped contentedly in reply.

 

The blonde boy shrugged. “Perhaps. I may love someone, but I’m not sure if I’m to marry anyone.” He answered. He turned back to his sweeping, mindless of his master smiling at him in amusement.

 

Komyo Sanzo made a paper airplane out of orange paper and let it fly in the sky. He chuckled again. “That’s exactly the answer I would hear from you, Koryu.”

 

*^^*

 

Memories of my master would always make me smile. No matter where I was. Komyo Sanzo was always the parent that I’ve never had; he was the one who always took care of me. Protecting me from insults thrown at me by other Buddhists, they always thought of me as his young lover, not a disciple.

 

I never listened to their insults, very few people trusted me, never judging me. But it didn’t matter, I didn’t give a damn about what people thought of me, as long as they didn’t hurt me physically or cause any pain to my master. Which, was unlikely to happen, considering that Komyo Sanzo was the highest-ranked monk, and they should think twice before hurting him.

 

“Sanzo.” I turned away from the window at the sound of my name and saw Hakkai standing a few feet from my seat on the window. The sudden movement brought a stab of pain through my head and I lifted my hand to massage it.

 

Hakkai held out a cup of tea. “Drink this. It will make you feel better.” He informed me. He sat down on his already made bed with his own cup and sipped it silently. I turned my gaze away from him and looked out the window.

 

The sun was rising; we would be leaving soon, maybe after an hour or so. Goku and Gojyo were still asleep, probably because of our poker game last night.

 

I closed my eyes as the sunlight bathed my body in their golden light. I couldn’t remember a thing about last night’s incident. Except of course, we were playing strip poker and there was sake, I could distinctly remember getting drunk.

 

I just woke up in bed, tucked in blankets. I didn’t know who did it, must’ve been Hakkai. The brown-haired youkai could always control his liquor, no matter how much he drinks. I could remember a time when we beat some thugs in a drinking contest because of Hakkai.

 

I shook my head to clear my thoughts, but the action only made my headache worse. At the edge of my mind, a memory lingers. A warm body pressed against mine, inviting lips so sweet…

 

“I’ll go wake up Gojyo and Goku.” Hakkai’s voice broke into my thoughts. I watched the slim figure walk out the door and I had the distinctive feeling that I did something really drastic last night.

 

I shrugged and grabbed the packet of cigarettes that was lying on the bedside table and flipped open the silver lighter that I always carry around with me. I stared at it on the palm of my hand.

 

This lighter was the only thing that was left to me by Komyo Sanzo. I always took very good care of it, and never let it be used by anyone other than me. The sunlight streaming in through the window bounced off the lighter’s shining surface and sparkled.

 

I turned the small object on its side and saw the small carving of a paper airplane on the bottom. A minuscule smile formed on my lips. My master always loved flying paper airplanes, he said it was the only thing he could do. I always told him that he was wise, but he laughed it off. Pressing that he was just some old git who was forced to be a monk.

 

The door opened and Hakkai came into the room. “Gojyo and Goku will be ready in a minute.” He said and sat down on the bed again. I cocked my head to the side, what was wrong with Hakkai, usually he was cheerful and would keep on babbling on how much work he did just to wake our other companions.

 

I grabbed my fan of discipline from my bed and fanned it against myself. The weather was not agreeing with me today, the temperature was almost hot enough to dehydrate me.

 

The two of us were silent for a while, I finally broke the tension by letting go of my fan and standing. I was feeling restless. “Oi, Hakkai. Do you have some clothes that are suited for this weather?” I asked and fanned myself with my hand. The stuffy climate was making my head feel much worst.

 

“Uh, hai. I do have some.” He answered and walked across the room to a satchel. He rummaged through it for a moment and finally took out some clothes. “Here.” He handed me a navy blue button-down shirt and white pants. I nodded at them in approval and took off my black fitting shirt.

 

In the midst of putting the shirt on, I saw Hakkai turn away from me. I stopped, was he embarrassed? The youkai had taken care of some very severe injuries of mine in the past, he would’ve probably seen every inch of my body by now. That was why I had no problem dressing in the same room as him.

 

I shrugged, whatever it is that bothered Hakkai I didn’t care. It was his problem, he’d just tell me about it when he needs to. Dust on one’s head must be must be dusted off by oneself.

 

“Sanzo…”

 

“What? If you ask a stupid question I’ll kill you.” I retorted as I finished buttoning my shirt and was in the process of putting on the pants.

 

“Is that so? Maybe I shouldn’t continue this then?” Came his answer, his soft baritone voice sounding amused.

 

I glared at him. “Kudaran ne.” I opened the door, ready to walk outside. A hand closed over my shoulder and I rose my gaze to meet Hakkai’s emerald ones.

 

“Sanzo, do you remember anything about last night?” His eyes burned into mine, they were almost pleading me, as if there was something that he needed to prove, and it was something that had to do with last night.

 

“We played poker, got drunk. That’s all I remember.” I slapped his hand away from my shoulder and walked out of the room. I suddenly wanted to get out and have some fresh air; there was something in his eyes. Something that made me feel great pity and sadness.

 

What the hell happened last night?

 

*^^*

 

“Ne, Sanzo. I’m hungry!!” Goku wailed from behind me.

 

“Uruse! Keep your stomach quiet for a while.” I snapped at him. We had been sitting in the jeep for four hours straight, and all of Goku’s whining was really getting on my nerves.

 

Goku didn’t seem to notice my anger and leaned in closer with his puppy-dog eyes, begging. “Demo, Sanzo!!”

 

“Shut up! Baka saru!” I bit out as I took out my fan and whacked him on the head hard. My patience has been stretched to the limit. We were in the middle of a forest, in a very humid weather, I ran out of cigarettes, and I was with three people who one of them was even remotely normal.

 

I expected to hear Hakkai’s usual ‘Maa, maa’ but it never came. Strange. Hakkai was always the one who tried to stop me from killing Goku. I turned to look at him, wanting to see what was wrong.

 

I suddenly felt the brush of unfamiliar youki cross my senses. Hakkai seemed to have felt it too, and stopped the jeep. “Did you feel that, Sanzo?” He asked. Gojyo had a lazy smile on his face

 

“Aa. Youkai.” I answered, taking out my gun and checking to see if it had bullets.

 

“Ah, so we’re gonna have a bit of an exercise, ne?” Gojyo asked, flipping his crimson hair over his shoulder.

 

“Honto? Maybe they’ll be strong!” Goku exclaimed and jumped out of the vehicle. All of us got off and Hakuryu immediately changed back to its dragon form. It flew to Hakkai and settled itself on the youkai’s shoulder.

 

Hakkai petted its head. “Ne, Hakuryu. It’s dangerous here. Why don’t you fly up to a safe place ne?” Hakuryu gave a squeak and flew away.

 

The moment that Hakuryu was gone they pounced. I immediately avoided getting beheaded by a black-haired youkai with a small scythe and quickly fired a shot. It hit the Youkai Square in the chest. A small smile came over my lips, and I jumped away just as another attempted to hit me.

 

I scanned my other companions, all of them didn’t seem to have any problems, and the demons were weak. I could even take care of all of them with one of my hands tied behind my back.

 

When all of them were finished, we just stood there. The feeling of adrenaline was still flowing through my veins, I almost wished that our opponents were stronger and put up a much better fight.

 

I flipped open my lighter and lit a cigarette. “Ikuzo.” I said and was about to walk over to where Hakuryu was, already in its jeep form, when I felt the pressure of another body ramming against mine.

 

“Nanda, teme?” I growled angrily. I wriggled out from underneath Hakkai and dusted off my clothes. “What the hell were-?” I stopped when I took in the arrow that was sticking out from Hakkai’s shoulder.

 

“Sumimasen. An arrow was heading straight for you, I just had to get you out of the way.” He croaked out feebly. He stood up, clutching at his shoulder and trying not to wince in pain. I instantly felt the bitter taste of guilt creeping up my throat.

 

The youkai that fired the arrow was standing a few feet away. He was shaking in fear. I felt anger rush through me and fired a shot at him; it didn’t do much to make me feel better.

 

I turned to Hakkai. “Are you all right?” I asked, trying to mask the concern in my voice. But it came out as a feeble whisper.

 

“Uh, hai. I’m fine.” He replied. But as soon as the words left his mouth, his eyes dilated and he fell down on the grass in a heap.

 

“Hakkai!” I rushed to his side, trying to read his condition. I wasn’t a healer; usually Hakkai was the one who took care of our injuries. Gojyo and Goku ran over to us, and Gojyo gave me a look that almost made me gulp nervously.

 

“Hakkai!! Is he going to be alright?” Goku asked worriedly. I couldn’t blame him; Hakkai was a very important part of our group. Goku looked up to the older youkai like a brother.

 

I nodded. “We should take him to the next town. Gojyo, you drive.” I ordered strictly and carried Hakkai over to the jeep, keeping an arm under his neck to support his head and the other under the bend of his knees.

 

I laid him gently on the back with Goku and sat down on the front with Gojyo behind the wheel. I almost wanted to seat at the back to look after Hakkai, but I didn’t want to look too worried.

 

“Yosh! Ikuzo!” Gojyo exclaimed as he stepped down on the pedal, the car immediately lurched. Hakuryu even squeaked in protest.

 

I sighed and glanced at Hakkai briefly, he was still unconscious. My gaze shifted to the arrow sticking out from his shoulder.

 

I hoped he was going to be all right.

 

*^^*

 

“Oi.”

 

My eyes opened and I saw Gojyo standing there, his face impassive and with his hands in his pockets. “What do you want?” I asked irritably. I clearly gave him my best ‘get-lost’ look, but the half-youkai didn’t seem to notice it.

 

“Just wanted to tell you that Hakkai is okay. The healer just pulled the arrow out, he just needs to rest.” He said and stood there, I quirked an eyebrow at him. “And?” There was more to this conversation than that.

 

He shrugged, trying to ignore the question. I didn’t care what the hell he wanted to tell me, if he would just leave. I completely ignored him and closed my eyes again and leaned my body fully on the tree behind me. This was what I needed, just some time to relax, there were some thoughts that are bothering me.

 

“Are you meditating?” Gojyo’s voice broke the silence; I opened an eye and shot him a glare. He held up his hands in defeat. “Uh, Gomen. I forgot that you’re not a holy man.” He walked around the tree and stood on the opposite side of it so we didn’t see each other.

 

I smirked. “What do you want?” I repeated.

 

“What do you think of Hakkai?” He asked. I was silent for a while, what was the point of this? He turned his head to look at me, which he couldn’t because of the tree between us. “Well?” He lit a cigarette and took a drag.

 

I wasn’t going to back out from this challenge. “Hakkai is very dependable.” I answered shortly. There were a million other things I wanted to say, if it wasn’t Gojyo that I was talking to.

 

Gojyo walked around the tree until he was facing me, his crimson eyes boring into mine. “That’s it?” He asked, he slammed his hands on either side of my face, preventing any kind of escape, not that I would. I wasn’t a coward.

 

I would have punched him for daring to get near me, but I stopped. That was what he wanted, to lose my cool. Hn. Two could play that game. “You heard me.” I said firmly, returning his gaze with conviction.

 

Then, Gojyo did something that I least expected, his fist swung out and struck me, I was so surprised that I almost fell down, if not for the tree supporting me. I wiped away the blood that trickled down my chin irritably and glared at him with the utmost dislike. “Kisama…” I breathed angrily. I fingered the gun that was lying in my pocket; I could shoot him right now, to hell with what the three Buddhas said.

 

He smirked at me, not the least bit threatened. “Don’t you notice it? If you don’t make your move, someone will take Hakkai away. He deserves much more than a corrupt monk like you.” He said and walked away, smoking carelessly.

 

I fired my gun and it missed his head by centimeters, cutting a few strands of his red hair. He kept walking. “Ja ne.” He called over his shoulder and gave me a little wave.

 

*^^*

 

“Oyasumi nasai, Sanzo.” Hakkai’s melodious voice echoed around me. I felt so relaxed, why did I? Oh, yeah. I just drank a lot of sake while playing poker with my other companions.

 

I opened my eyes and saw Hakkai standing over me and smiling tenderly. The feelings of desire suddenly flowed through me at the sight of that smile and without thinking I grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down on the bed.

 

He squirmed underneath me, and it fired up my desire even more at the feeling of his slim body against mine. “What are you doing, Sanzo?” He asked uncomfortably.

 

I leaned in close to his ear. “Hakkai, do you know how much I want to kiss you?” I whispered huskily. I felt that I had to do this, the sake had taken over me, but it was acting at my hidden desires, something that I had kept for a very long time.

 

“I-I…” He stuttered nervously, a flush rising in his cheeks. I ignored him and traced his jaw with kisses down to his collarbone. I wanted to do more…I wanted more of Hakkai…all of him…his smiles…his laugh…everything…

 

*^^*

 

My eyes shot open as I woke with a start, my heart beating madly in my chest. I sat up straight in my cot and looked outside the window, it was raining. I wiped my sweaty brow; trying to calm down my nerves.

 

I always dream of past memories when it rains, maybe it was a warning. A warning of what I should have had but never did. I always dreamt of my master, Komyo Sanzo, but this was the first time that I dreamt of another person, and it surprised me greatly that it was Hakkai.

 

But that dream…it was so real…like it really happened. I shook my head, trying to tie the pieces of the poker game we had two nights ago. What had happened after the game?

 

I could vaguely remember seeing Gojyo in boxers carrying Goku on his back, also in the same attire. I didn’t even notice them leave because I was too busy drinking sake.

 

I turned my gaze to a bed at the other side of the room where Hakkai rested. The moment my eyes gazed upon his face, longing and desire that filled my two nights ago hit me like a tidal wave.

 

The feeling of another body pressing against mine…lips crushing against my own…and Hakkai’s moans of wanting echoing in my mind…

 

I could hear Hakkai’s voice, almost choking in sadness. Saying: “I like you too, Sanzo. In fact, I more than like you…I love you too much that it hurts to see you like this…” My heart clenched at the sad tone of his voice.

 

I watched Hakkai from my cot. Ever since Gojyo said that, thoughts – and feelings – I never knew existed were awakened. I never though of Hakkai like that before, but now…

 

As I see him now, lying on the bed, his eyes closed and his mouth curved into a small smile. I couldn’t help but feel the guilt that has been bothering me all day, guilt that was shown to me when Hakkai sacrificed his safety for me.

 

I was suddenly seeing Hakkai in a new light, and all the unknown feelings I had were suddenly gnawing at me, chewing at me from the inside as if forcing me to let them out.

 

The hot curl of desire in my stomach scared me.

 

I looked around at Gojyo and Goku, both deeply asleep. My body seemed to move in its own accord, and I was suddenly walking towards Hakkai’s bed. I willed myself to stop, but my body didn’t seem to listen.

 

It was happening again, my body was acting out my desires. Longing for this beautiful creature, someone that loved me for who I am, regardless of how I act.

 

I was standing over Hakkai’s bed; the youkai seemed to feel my presence and opened his emerald eyes. They were hazy with sleep but they were nonetheless beautiful.

 

He sat up and yawned. “Ne, Sanzo…what are you doing up in the middle of the night?” He asked, rubbing his sleep-filled eyes with his fists.

 

I sat down beside him on the bed and grabbed his chin. “I had some unfinished business to complete.” I whispered softly. My eyes dropped down to his inviting lips.

 

I watched in fascination as Hakkai’s eyes widened in surprise. “Demo, Sanzo…what about…?” He trailed off as I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips upon his.

 

He was silent as I assaulted his mouth, putting in the passion that I had bottled up. His whole body was stiff with tension, but after a moment he finally relaxed and his arms wound around my neck and forced our bodies closer.

 

I obliged obediently and wrapped my arms around him. I wanted him, all of him. It might sound selfish but I did.

 

I broke away from him, my head reeling at this profound notion. I let my fingers trail his full lips. Hakkai raised his eyes to meet mine, and I could see the same longing reflecting my own, and something else.

 

There was love in those green pools.

 

He cupped my face with his hands, staring at me with such tenderness. “Do you remember now, Sanzo?” He questioned, his beautiful voice enveloping me in their velvety softness.

 

I suddenly felt the need to run away, but I forced myself not to. Not this time, this time, I was going to take something that I should have taken a long time ago. “I remember everything…” I said breathlessly and prevented any interruptions by kissing him again.

 

For the first time in my life, I was happy.

 

^Owari^

 

 

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